“I want a ride that’s comfy and fast. And you just can’t beat the gas mileage or upholstery of a horse.”

“I think I just inhaled a cloud. That’s what I get for not wearing a gas mask while riding my Pegasus.”

“If you put a long-haired wig on and ask nicely, I might sit on your back and ride you like a horse. I believe that’s the only appropriate way to show you how much I love you.”

“I’d drive a thousand miles just to learn how to conserve gas and help save the environment. But that’s just who I am. I’m a thoughtful guy.
”

“If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this kind of regard for others that makes me believe I’d be a good politician.”

“I keep my love in the fridge, next to my meat, because you simply can’t beat it.”

“I took a shower under a fountain drink machine at a gas station because it beats showering with unleaded gasoline at $3.33 a gallon and rising.”