“I want a Snuggle Sandwich—hold the pickle. Make it a combo and upsize it.”

“I want a sexual innuendo sandwich, hold the mayonnaise.”

“Stupidity mixed with arrogance mixed with anger mixed with adrenaline is a deadly combination. Just as deadly as adding fries and a soda and making it a combo meal.”

“Pigs might make great pets, but they make better breakfast. I’ll take one big snuggle, with a side of scrambled eggs.”

“I like wearing gloves made of cheese (Swiss), and then going around asking elderly men if they want a knuckle sandwich.”

“We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was doing, but she melted into me all the same.”

“If you’re wearing a space suit, I’ll take a unicrescent sandwich; hold the mayonnaise—and the moon. (But don’t hold it in your hands.) Let us dance like the moon is hollow and inhabited by beings of light who give off enough energy so I can be a night nudist.”