“I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.”

“I want to get married. But first I need to get a divorce.”

“I want to get married, but first I’ll have to get a divorce.”

“A vibrating toothbrush is one hygienic marvel of a sex toy. The next time I want to make love, I’ll make a dentist appointment.”

“I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.”

“I have an inconsequential errand to run tomorrow so I’ll get up at 5, be there at 5:30, and wait for them to open up at 10. I’m never late, except in love.”

“I want my words to illuminate like the sun, as I give my daily lecture on photosynthesis to my houseplants.”