“I want my words to illuminate like the sun, as I give my daily lecture on photosynthesis to my houseplants.”

“You can share in my joy, but I don’t want to share my misery. No, I want to give away my misery. Go ahead, take it all.”

“Every leap year I like to jump. It’s a good way to get my daily exercise in every four years.”

“I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner.”

“I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.”

“After a shower, I like to let gravity and evaporation dry me off as I stretch out naked in the sun on my neighbor’s porch.”

“In exchange for my silence, I want a box of quiet. Empty—and full.
That’s also how I like my morning coffee at night.”