“I want to be a man of letters. All 26 of them.”

“Sometimes I get depressed about my age. In March I’ll be 26. If man weren’t measured in numbers, but rather letters, I’d be turning Z. And then I’d be dead.”

“It’s a lie. There isn’t safety in numbers. But there is safety in letters. There are only 26 letters, and yet they are more powerful than an army of infinite men. Show me a man or an army that can kill an idea, and I’ll show you an example of the absurd.”

“I retired at the age of 25, and it wasn’t until a few days later that I realized that in order to retire you need a stash of cash, and if I wanted to live to the age of 26, I’d better reenter the workforce. Or, rather, enter it for the first time.”

“I wrote a coded love note in my report for work. All the letters you need to read what I wrote are there—you just have to find them and rearrange the order until you’ve arrived at something romantic, and then you’ll have discovered what I wrote.”

“I would eat my soup in silence, but it’s alphabet soup. They’re all capital letters and they are shouting at me. I’m not anorexic or illiterate, so alphabet soup is like a nourishing novel. An anorexic should make a suicide note out of the letters.”

“I don’t want to adopt your ideas, I want to give birth to them.”