“I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.”

“Dear Ian, I felt good. I felt like a Christian to the T. Also to the Chris, Ian.”

“Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but when I was, I felt like I’d rather wither.”

“I kiss like a skyscraper meets the sky, only with less scraping and more vertigo.”

“I have a handicap on the golf course like you wouldn’t believe. It’s more than a limp, and less than a wheelchair.”

“I don't like musty smells. I much prefer less definitive fragrances, like the scent of maybe.”

“I think you’re funny, and the toilet sounds like a soda can opening when it flushes. It’s a diet soda, so it’s less filling and more fattening.”