“I want to be my own wedding singer at my own wedding. But first I’ll have to audition.”

“When I wear my wedding ring I think of her. I also think of my wife.”

“With my wedding photography business, I want repeat customers. So hooray for divorce! That’s why I take lots of pictures—of cheating spouses.”

“I’m sure I look memorable in my tuxedo, and she looks gorgeous in her wedding gown. I’ve wanted to marry her since I first met her. And being the best man doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I need to get my wedding ring resized, because it still fits tight around my neck.”

“The only time I’ll eat Italian wedding soup is if I’m wearing a tuxedo and eating with a priest.”

“And out came an insult with the velocity of a whisper. But I could see I offended, so I zipped up my pants and left the wedding reception.”