“I want to be the boss, and have my name embossed on the corner office door.”

“I gave him a pet name, even though he wasn’t my pet, he was my boss. I don’t know why he fired me. I thought “Dick Nose” was a delightfully cute name.”

“I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my name—my name represents me.”

“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”

“Before I make you boss, I want to tattoo “Assistant” around your asshole.”

“My name is my reputation. And all I have in this world is my name. Well, and my penis, which shoots out millions of other names.”

“I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me.”