“I want to be the mayor of a small town. A small town I populated entirely with my seed.”

“I want to move to a ghost town and try to sell the population bodies to dwell in.”

“I have a list of pet names for Cap’n so long that it could fill a phone book (if the phone book is for a town with a population of four). I call him Cap’n Boy, Sweet Boyo, My Little Boy (done in a British accent), and when he is misbehaving, You Little Shit.”

“I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones.
”

“I run this town. Mostly I run errands.”

“I want to write a song about retaliation called, "Oh Yeah, and I Faked Every Orgasm...While You Were Out of Town.”

“I want a piece of apple pie so large I could wedge a For Sale sign in it and make all the real estate agents in town jealous.”