“I want to drum up interest for instruments that are played by beating them with sticks.”

“I play the only instrument that takes in music rather than propelling it out: the ear trumpet. Don’t bother snickering at me—I am deaf to your mockery.
”

“Two hearts that beat as one, and they’re both mine. I’ve got them hooked up to a synchometer.”

“If love played an instrument, I’ll bet it would be the piano. 88 keys, double infinity, and the ability to chop down trees with a sharpened mustache. 
”

“So you made a mistake. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Let me beat you up instead.”

“I want to play a game of Solitaire—with my clone.”

“I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!”