“I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the other half.”

“If I had a half, I’d split it in half and share it with you. That’s love. Then I’d go find the other half and enjoy the whole thing by myself.”

“I wrote half this book (the left half) while I was asleep, and I wrote the other half (the top half) while daydreaming. So here we have a case where two halves equal one quarter, which is about what this book is worth—give or take 25 cents.”

“If I asked people how many people there are in the world, I’ll bet more than half would reply, “More than half.” True, but would they also know Georgia is a state, a country, and a painter?”

“Love is the color of red inverted. At least that’s what Gunnar Greenlove told me, and I believe him because he’s from an island where half the people tell only the truth and half tell only lies. Not only that, but the island has a population of two, and I am the other inhabitant.”

“I ate a half a cookie, but not because I wanted to. I ate it out of necessity.”

“I’m half naked. The question is not, Am I getting dressed or undressed? the question is, Am I a half-noble savage, or a half-ignoble savage?”