“I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it.”

“I want to drown in all the ink used to write positive things about my clone and how great he is.”

“I would give you all my love, but I’m afraid I’d get nothing in return. And coming from you, nothing is simply much more than I want.”

“Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence.”

“I’m a miner, and I’m always dirty, because I’m constantly digging. Am I shoveling for gold? Hardly. I’m unearthing this hearty land searching for the next great American novel. If I dig deep enough, I’m sure to find it.”

“I plan on leaving my mark on this world, in ink, with a pen spill that’ll make all the oil spills combined look like literature.”

“My printer printed off blank pages. Is my printer out of ink, or do I just have nothing to say?”