“I want to get married, but first I’ll have to get a divorce.”

“I want to get married. But first I need to get a divorce.”

“We were getting a divorce. But not from each other. Then we were going to get married. But not to each other.”

“I wanted a divorce, so I bought myself a house, to give me the incentive to stay married.”

“I have a protective coating, like a tank. It’s called Love. And when I get you naked, I’ll want to make war to you.”

“I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.”

“-There’s a beautiful woman here for you who wants to have sex.
-Tell her I’m married. Then tell her I’ll be there as soon as I can.”