“I want to go to Sing Sing prison. I’ll bet they’ve got a good chorus.”

“I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium.”

“Good things come to those who ate. I’m going to wait to eat. I just got done swallowing my pride, and I’ll be full for the foreseeable future.”

“Instead of selling other countries weapons, we should sell them candles. Maybe then instead of singing the praises of war, they’d start singing Happy Birthday. And I don’t know anybody, not even my bully of an uncle, Uncle Sam, who wants to start a fight during that song.”

“If I could lick the sunset, I’ll bet it would taste like Neapolitan ice cream.”

“I make love like I sing—in a choir, alone in the bathtub.”

“I put the “sing” in single. But only when I’m in the shower.”