“I want to grow a Loyalty Beard, to prove my commitment to my favorite shaving cream.”
“I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I’d enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber.”
“My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee, though I prefer it melted and hot enough to burn flesh.”
“If beards flowed like rivers, then I’d stop shaving my facial St. John’s, and I’d have one of the few major beards in the world that grew north.”
“I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.”
“My beard grows down to my toes,I never wears no clothes,I wraps my hairAround my bare,And down the road I goes.”