“I want to grow a tan and an accent, then dig it out of my garden and staple it to my naked body. I like Salmon Rushdie like a bear would. Especially with a honey glaze.”

“I like farm salmon. I like the idea of fish growing on trees.”

“Would women find vampires even sexier and more romantic if instead of fangs they had rose thorns? It’s thoughts like these I think of when digging in my garden, looking for my one true love (If only I could remember where I buried her!).
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“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. I like my toppings like I like my women: topless. I love me some pepperoni.”

“I’ll dine on apple flesh and cinnamon, while feeding you one line after another. Some lines will have salmon hooked on at the end. Then we’ll make love like two bears who’ve just discovered honey.”

“After a shower, I like to let gravity and evaporation dry me off as I stretch out naked in the sun on my neighbor’s porch.”

“I would visit Hawaii, but I’m not that strong of a swimmer. My strength is all in my heart, and I love like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body looks.”