“I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!”

“I want to mass produce wretchedness. An unsatisfactory factory. Then I want to produce cologne and stench—at different ends of the production line. So it would be an olfactory factory.”

“I am the world’s greatest American. I narrowly beat out all of China for the title.”

“Factor in the fact that factories should only hire people they make themselves, I believe, and you can see why I want to be self-employed and own a factory. This would mean I’d have thousands of clones of myself working for me. Think about it. I’ll increase my income thousands of times over, but I’ll only be paying tax for one person. 
”

“I have two problems with hard labor: hard and labor. I prefer soft, and I’d prefer not giving birth.”

“I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.”

“When I have children I want an even number of boys and girls, and that’s why I want 15 kids—7 boys, 7 girls, and one hermaphrodite named Sam.”