“I want to make love to the French Revolution. Or maybe just get some head from Robespierre.”

“For breakfast I want a bowl of sugar with some corn flakes sprinkled on top. Then I want to make sweet love to you.”

“What I want more than a car that goes from Point A to Point B, is a car that stops. I make it a point to break for love. My horn is broke—and so am I, but I get paid Friday.”

“I want to study a broad. Possibly French.”

“I have a protective coating, like a tank. It’s called Love. And when I get you naked, I’ll want to make war to you.”

“I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle.”

“When I was in the second grade, I used to think love was the feeling a man gets while riding a motorcycle and having a woman embrace him tightly from behind. Maybe I’m cynical now, but I’m starting to think love is a unicycle with a flat tire.”