“I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.”

“The glove compartment of my car is empty, but one of these days, I’m going to fill it with an assortment of gloves—everything from boxing gloves to the oven mitts I used when I burned my last bridge.”

“I’d like to assess all the asses on the beach. By hand. I should try to get a sponsorship from an oven mitt manufacturer.”

“I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.”

“I’ve often wondered why boxing gloves are bright red. If I were a boxer, I’d wear camouflage colored boxing gloves so my opponent would never see my punches coming.”

“Sometimes a well-placed sound effect can be more poignant than a boxing glove-sized punch line.”

“I’m such a germaphobe that I think sanitation gloves should be thicker than boxing gloves.”