“I wanted “300” to be less about fighting, and more about bowling. At least they could have had the Spartans wear bowling shoes.”

“A brick could be used as a bowling ball. With how bad I bowl, a rectangle ball couldn’t possibly hurt my score, because in bowling you can’t get a lower score than zero”

“For breakfast I want a bowl of sugar with some corn flakes sprinkled on top. Then I want to make sweet love to you.”

“I always wear size 14 boat shoes that are so old they could have been built by Noah.”

“She’s beautiful, but she’s also got brains. I’ll bet zombies would love to eat out of her skull like a bowl of Jell-O that had an IQ of 180—which is absurd, because the last bowl of Jell-O I ate only measured in with an IQ of 123. Still, an IQ of 123 is more than double what it probably takes to be elected into political office.”

“When I’m feeling down, I make myself a big bowl of Up Soup. The bowl only looks empty, but in reality it’s full of hope. Grab a spoon, there’s plenty for both of us.”

“I skimmed the pond scum with a spoon like broth in a soup bowl. Why does everything have to remind me of her?”