“I was once in a battle trying to fight my way out when I realized it’s better to sneak out.”

“A brick could make everything better for me. Now, if I could only find a way to get my hands on one. But it’s a silly dream, because I don’t have the ambition to get out from under my blanket and go out and grab the very thing I most desire. 
”

“I laced up my sneakers, but not with the intention to sneak around. I was just going to skulk for a bit, when out of the blue I discovered my green thumb and ended up doing a bit of gardening. I really had no idea I was such a badass until that moment.”

“When someone I admire turns out to be a rather normal guy, I get offended because it’s an insult to my jealousy.”

“I once tried out for the Girl Scouts. I only went to one meeting. I ate all their cookies and then left.”

“Back when I was a competitive swimmer, I used to dream of going to the Olympics. But then I changed my mind, once I found out how expensive the tickets are.”

“When people say they don’t understand my generation, I like to point out that it’s not “my” generation. I’m only co-owner with a 50% stake.”