“I was part of a focus group once, but to be honest, I couldn’t concentrate.”

“I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldn’t tell because I was already sitting in the nosebleed section.”

“I once had a professor who could condense an entire lecture into a can of frozen orange juice. Talk about hard to concentrate.”

“Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate).
 It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient.”

“I’d prefer going on a date with 10 women at once. Not only might I get a bulk discount at the restaurant, but it’s like a group interview. I think the ladies would appreciate my efficiency. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I couldn’t agree more. That doesn’t mean I agree. In fact, I completely disagree. And since I so thoroughly disagree, I couldn’t agree more.”

“I always say “I couldn’t agree more,” even if I wholeheartedly disagree, because whether I completely agree or completely disagree, I couldn’t agree more.”