“I was reminded of my ex girlfriend the other day. It’s amazing that something as simple as a first and last name, identical to hers, could remind me of her. I wonder how Zelda McFelda is doing thee days.”

“A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of her, so why not a brick too?
”

“Rain, it always reminds me of water. And you know how much I love things that remind me of other things. Say, that reminds me...”

“My eyes change color depending on my mood and what I’m wearing. If I’m wearing an acorn brown shirt, my eyes look like squirrel fur. And if I’m wearing no shirt at all, my eyes look more nude and flesh-colored. I guess my ex girlfriend, Zelda, said it best when her friend asked her what I look like and she said: “He looks like you’d imagine him to look like, if you had no imagination.”

“My mother-in-law scared the hell out of me. But it’s cool, because the stench of Satan reminds me of her anyways. Hungry? Deviled eggs anyone?”

“I eat spaghetti with my fingers, because it reminds me of me running my fingers through her wet red hair. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and a sticky note on the fridge that said, "I love you." "Oh my God," I thought. "Somebody's obsessed with me, and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me.”