“I went for a walk and I stubbed my big toe. And my erection.”

“I once went toe to toe with an international thumb war champion.”

“I let the feeling wash over me, and then I dried off with a fur coat and went for a walk on my unicycle.”

“On the card I wrote, “Thinking of you,” and the picture was of my erect penis. I hope my local congressman got it OK.”

“The morning came pouring down on my night, but luckily I was able to convert my erection into an umbrella.”

“I wish my erection pointed inwards. But it doesn’t, it points directly at you.”

“My gas tank is on empty, but my erection is on full. Still, it would be wise to stop the car before I pump.”