“I went on a road trip with my cat, Cap’n. I would have let him drive, but he was drunk.”

“I had a dream where I lost Cap’n among the hundreds of black and white cats and they all looked nearly identical to him. It was such a sad dream that it made me drool out of my eyes.
”

“I have a list of pet names for Cap’n so long that it could fill a phone book (if the phone book is for a town with a population of four). I call him Cap’n Boy, Sweet Boyo, My Little Boy (done in a British accent), and when he is misbehaving, You Little Shit.”

“Road trips are fun. Come on. I'll let you control the music. I give you permission to put your hand on my knob." He laughed and I playfully hit him on the arm. "There is no knob.""Well, you are pretty good at pushing my buttons too.”

“Friends don't let friends drive drunk.""Are you trying to appeal to my conscience?""How can you turn down a once-in-a-lifetime chance to drive the 'Stang?""How about you sell me the 'Stang for thirty dollars? I can even pay cash.""Drunk, but not that drunk, Grey.”

“I was driving to another girl’s house who’s not my girl, and I saw a red sign by the road that read, “Wrong Way,” and I thought, I agree. So I turned around and went home.”