“I went to school to be a comedian. I was always cracking jokes in class. And after they were cracked, the teacher would try to put them back together.”

“I would crack a smile, but I don’t like breaking things.”

“I went to a homosexual high school. I graduated top in my class. I couldn't imagine being on the bottom.”

“I recognized Rebecca immediately, though it is doubtful whether I registered on her radar. We had a graphic design class together. I always wanted to sit next to her, but the iMacs on either side of her seat were always snatched by two Justin Bieber clones before I even managed to Usher myself into class.”

“I’ll leave the door cracked, because cracked is better than broken.”

“I came from a broken home. My bedroom window was cracked.”

“In high school pottery class, I never made a whole vase. Instead I made fragments that I tried to sell as historical artifacts. The effort earned me an F in pottery, and an A in History.”