“I wish I had eyes that changed colors from blue to gray, and then after I cried, to all the colors of the rainbow, because then I’d just sit in front of the mirror writing poems that alternated between extremely sad poems, to poems about light refraction and blinking promises.”

“If I ever see an alien fishing in Scotland, and witness it catching the Loch Ness Monster, I’d probably assume the world would want me to write a poem about the event, rather than take pictures of it.”

“She had amber-colored eyes. Or maybe they were blue, and I was confusing their color with her name, which was Amber.”

“I saw a white toilet, with no plumbing, alone in a field of snow. Well, almost alone. There were two naked albinos and a polar bear sitting on it, and I felt inspired to write a love poem.”

“I’d love to be a color commentator, but I can’t, because I’m white, and white isn’t a color.”

“If I were the color blue, and you were the color orange, I wouldn't want you around all the time, because who wants to be constantly complimented?”

“I am the red wheelbarrow of communism. William Carlos Williams wrote a poem about me.”