“I wish there were a vending machine that served cats. Not to eat, but to pet during my work break.”

“I have so many pet peeves that I can’t even pet them all. And damn I wish they were furry.”

“If my chest grew cat hair, I wouldn’t know whether to pluck it or pet it.”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“Somebody needs to pet me, and I guess that somebody is me. My cat is busy sleeping.”

“I’ll see a cat and instinctively start petting the hair on my back.”

“I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.
”