“I won’t be lulled by the lullaby, when what waits after is eternal sleep.”

“I invented an invisible machine to help you get to sleep. It only works after your eyes stay shut for a length of time. It’s also so quiet that you won’t hear it.”

“I want more sleep. It won’t happen, but I can dream, right?”

“Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t have any money. And if I did have money, I wouldn’t pay for sex, because women would sleep with me for free.”

“I vote to have my vote voided—which means my vote won’t count even when it counts, and it will count even when it won’t count.”

“I don’t sleep on the left side of the bed, or the right side, because there is a third option: to not sleep. After all, sleep is like death. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“When I can’t write I read. When I can’t read I sleep. And when I can’t sleep I write.”