“I worked with a sketch artist, but I was driving fast when I saw the suspect, so the drawing came out blurry.”

“She told me to draw the curtains shut, so I grabbed my pencil and began to sketch.”

“I weigh more than I used to. I've been eating a lot of fast food, so I must have put on some muscle—without even working out!”

“His voice was so gravelly I could drive a truck on it. And I would have, but I came carrying my bicycle.”

“I was driving to another girl’s house who’s not my girl, and I saw a red sign by the road that read, “Wrong Way,” and I thought, I agree. So I turned around and went home.”

“When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future.”

“I saw a baby make a boom-boom in his diaper, and I thought, I’d never have suspected him of being a terrorist.”