“I would take a trip down Memory Lane, but with gas prices sky high, forget about it.”

“My uncle just dropped in to see me, but his parachute didn't open up. So now we're waiting on the ambulance to come pick him up. (Hey, I would have drove him to the hospital, but gas prices are too high!)”

“I often wonder how far I’d go for love. I guess it all depends on the price of gas.
”

“I am a love factory. I make love out of high quality plastics at an affordable price.”

“Social progress: for the same price as last year, I get a slimmer candy bar, less chips per bag, and I have to walk a little further to work, because to spend the same amount on gas I have to continuously park farther and farther away from the building.”

“My gas tank is on empty, but my erection is on full. Still, it would be wise to stop the car before I pump.”

“I lit my loneliness on fire like it was a cigarette. But I didn’t smoke it, because that would have required me to remove my gas mask. And what kind of sensible girl is going to be attracted to a guy out in public not wearing his gas mask?”