“I write down my dreams. I use the excuse “I’m writing” to sleep all the time.”

“In my dream I woke up to realize I was tired and needed to go to sleep. Then I slowly remembered that I was asleep, but that I needed to wake up and write this down. Blah.”

“I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I’m more developed, and my writing often takes up whole bumpers. 
”

“Half of what I write is garbage, but if I don't write it down it decomposes in my head.”

“When I can’t write I read. When I can’t read I sleep. And when I can’t sleep I write.”

“My new book is going well. It’s practically writing itself! Actually, what I mean is I’m not writing it, my clone is.”

“I’m writing a book, one letter at a time. After thirteen days, I just finished writing “Once upon a time.” Since it’s a fairy tale, it’s obviously a romance novel, along the lines of “All Quiet on the Western Front.”