“I write like I make love: alone in my bathtub, as I let the fantasy overflow and wash over me.”

“I make love like I sing—in a choir, alone in the bathtub.”

“I let the feeling wash over me, and then I dried off with a fur coat and went for a walk on my unicycle.”

“I make conversation like I make love to myself—I let my hands do all the talking.”

“I make believe like asexuals make love—alone, with cardboard tubes.”

“I make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing alone in the shower.”

“I floated like driftwood in the ocean. I wasn’t worried about sharks, because my bathtub is much too shallow.”