“I’d kill for any one of my friends. Thankfully for the overpopulated prison system, I don’t have any friends.”

“On the subject of how to make friends, I would give you some tips, but I just don’t have any. Oh, I have plenty of tips, but I don’t have any friends.”

“No wonder I’d never had any friends. I was shockingly bad at it.”

“Scars exist to show that I existed. I myself don’t have any scars, but every single one of my friends has a healed up knife wound deep in their back.
”

“This is my friend, Sebastian.' 'Best friend,' I blurted out and then wanted to punch myself in the face for sounding so dumb. At this rate, I'd be painting nails with her any day now. Thank God, Jaden wasn't here.”

“Why have you chosen to spare me?” “I want us to be…what is your word? Friends.” “Psychotic rapists don’t have friends.” “I was unaware you were a psychotic rapist or I would not have offered.” “Ha.” I’d set myself up for that one.”