“I’d like to assess all the asses on the beach. By hand. I should try to get a sponsorship from an oven mitt manufacturer.”

Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz - “I’d like to assess all the asses on the...” 1

Similar quotes

“It was as unsatisfying as a handjob from someone wearing an oven mitt.”

Paul Di Filippo
Read more

“I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.”

Jarod Kintz
Read more

“I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.”

Jarod Kintz
Read more

“If you’re going to hold a grudge, at least put on an oven mitt before you pick it up.”

Jarod Kintz
Read more

“Ooo, let’s see, I need to get my spicy barbecue sauce. Definitely some oven mitts, ‘cause he’s gonna be hot from being flame-broiled. I need to get a couple of them apple trees to make wood chips so the meat be nice and appley tasting. Give it that extra yumminess, ‘cause I don’t like that Daimon flavor. Ack! (Simi)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon
Read more