“I’d never trust a surgeon who didn’t wear gloves when he operated. Even if those gloves he didn’t wear were boxing gloves. He might as well, because I know he’s going to beat me up over the price.”

“I’ve often wondered why boxing gloves are bright red. If I were a boxer, I’d wear camouflage colored boxing gloves so my opponent would never see my punches coming.”

“I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights.”

“If you’re going to hit on me, please wear boxing gloves. I get it though, because when I’m dancing it looks like I’m fighting. In the face of violence, I’m just that gentle and sensual.”

“By a simple show of hands, who here is wearing gloves?”

“The glove compartment of my car is empty, but one of these days, I’m going to fill it with an assortment of gloves—everything from boxing gloves to the oven mitts I used when I burned my last bridge.”

“I’m such a germaphobe that I think sanitation gloves should be thicker than boxing gloves.”