“I’d Poe’s nude for the approval of a dead poet. No names come to mind, but I’m sure there must be one I’d get naked for.”

“I’d hang a walrus on my wall, and I’d name him Russ. But I’m not a hunter—I’m a lover and a fisherman. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes, if you want to take off your pants and wash up.”

“I’m glad I don’t have any foreskin, because at a nude beach I’d feel overdressed. (It’d be the only time I could feel overdressed by showing too much skin).”

“How many midgets does it take to take over the world? I’m not sure, but I’d guess twice as many.”

“Sometimes I get depressed about my age. In March I’ll be 26. If man weren’t measured in numbers, but rather letters, I’d be turning Z. And then I’d be dead.”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d probably be into tennis. And if my name were Funnalingus, well, I’ll let you figure out what I’d enjoy.”

“If my name were Isaac Newton, would I be a famous no name? I’d have worldwide and historical name recognition, yet I’d be anonymous.”