“I’d rather fall in molten lava than fall in love. But I suppose that’s just the romantic me.”

“I’d rather own something that’s worth millions to nobody, than something that’s worth nothing to millions.”

“When I meet a European, the first thing I say is, “I’d much rather watch football than football.” But I’m just teasing them, and they know I’d really rather watch football than football.”

“It’s spring now, and I was just thinking that I haven’t been in love since the fall. The fall of the Roman Empire.”

“Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but when I was, I felt like I’d rather wither.”

“She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to. 
”

“Love is a boomerang dripped in honey, in that it emanates from me just as surely as it will return to me. Still, I think I’d much rather wash my hands and be done with it.”