“I’d rather have nobody to say anything to, than have nothing to say to anybody.”

“I’d rather own something that’s worth millions to nobody, than something that’s worth nothing to millions.”

“If there are two witnesses to a murder, you and the guy you killed, I’d say your secret is safe. I won’t say nothing to nobody.”

“When I meet a European, the first thing I say is, “I’d much rather watch football than football.” But I’m just teasing them, and they know I’d really rather watch football than football.”

“Would you rather have sight, or insight? I’d rather have a double cheeseburger.”

“People ask me all the time, “Jarod, how come you are so much more romantic than anybody else?” And I say, “Simple. I have brains, heart, courage, and most importantly, I have ruby red slippers.”

“How much distance should there be between art and artist? I’d say no more than a lifetime.”