“I’d rather ride a unicorn than a unicycle. But my enemies, they could all ride a unicycle with a horn instead of a seat.”

“I want to write a story about an asexual unicycle who refuses to let a unicorn ride it.”

“Somebody took my bicycle tire, my bicycle seat, and both my pedals. They stole my whole unicycle!”

“Instead of a motorcycle, why not ride a custom-engineered unicorn? The unicorn could be genetically grown like corn.”

“Instead of a motorcycle gang, I’m thinking of starting up a unicycle gang. We’ll be hell on wheel. (My first recruit will be a woman named Helen Wiel.)”

“When I was in the second grade, I used to think love was the feeling a man gets while riding a motorcycle and having a woman embrace him tightly from behind. Maybe I’m cynical now, but I’m starting to think love is a unicycle with a flat tire.”

“I let the feeling wash over me, and then I dried off with a fur coat and went for a walk on my unicycle.”