“If a man’s a constant hand-shaker, he must be a politician or a crook—or both, if he is a politician.”

“Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think everybody can agree that politicians are crooks. But I don’t think politicians are thieves, because you can’t steal what you’ve been given. Once we stop giving in, they’ll stop taking.
”

“He died a suspicious death. But only because he was a politician, and everything he did was suspicious.”

“America’s problem, in a word, is politicians. In two words, it’s politicians and lobbyists. In three words, it’s politicians, lobbyists, and lawyers. And finally, in four words, it’s politicians, lobbyists, lawyers, and bankers.”

“Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load them up with bricks and find out how good of swimmers they are?
”

“It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligent to be politicians.”

“Everybody has something to offer the world. Even rapists, murderers, and politicians. Well, maybe not politicians.”