“If a woman asked me how far I’d go on a first date, my reply would be 69 miles. Round trip, not one way.”

“At the end of the first date, I got my courage up and I made a move. One U-Haul van and 1,500 miles later, I regretted my boldness.”

“This isn’t my first Merry-go-round, Cowboy.”

“If love were seaweed, I’d ask myself one question: Are you the sort of person who’d swim through it, or would you rather eat it? As for me, pass me my Speedo, and a spoon.”

“I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.”

“I often wonder how far I’d go for love. I guess it all depends on the price of gas.
”

“I’d prefer going on a date with 10 women at once. Not only might I get a bulk discount at the restaurant, but it’s like a group interview. I think the ladies would appreciate my efficiency. Ah, but that’s life, no?”