“If artists often get famous posthumously, then there is only one thing for me to do—fake my own death. Or I could just wait for science to give me a clone, and kill him instead. He’ll get my credit, and I’ll get his money.”

“He’ll think I’ll do it, he’ll act like I’ll do it, and so I will do it. But if he will think differently, maybe I will act differently. But I know me, I know him, he knows himself, he knows me, and he is my clone, so we will each act exactly how we think we will, and we will each act like the other, and this is why I’ll have to kill him.”

“I don’t deceive myself. No, I get my clones to do it for me.”

“Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.”

“A shadow is midnight’s whisper, I thought as I shouted at my invisible clone. Killing your own clone is the only time you could commit murder and suicide at the same time by killing just one person.”

“I have assigned myself a Hooray Factor of five. This is the top level, and is the only level that has a physical representation—that of a high five. But don’t try to give me a high five, because I’m the only person in the world with a Hooray Factor of five. So until my clones get here, I’ll just have to continue to high five my reflection in the mirror.”

“He won’t be as funny as a mountain—he’ll be hill-arious. He is my clone, and I hope he kills me for this terrible pun.”