“If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.”

“In a battle, an army of farts would surely beat an army of noses, even if those noses were armed with fingers that could flick long-range boogers.”

“The most dangerous flower is one that grows on a grave. Everybody in its vicinity is dead. That’s why I hand-picked it for my mother-in-law.”

“Earwax is nothing more than sound boogers. I’m too congested to hear anything but I love you. Not that I expect you to flick it at me lightly.”

“I’ll flick a penny to the dirt, and if I see one on the ground I won’t pick it up. So why is .99 cents so much sexier than a dollar?”

“I’ll wipe a booger on your wall, not only to say I was here, but also to say thanks for having me over.”

“I’ll wipe a booger on your living room wall, not only to show I was there, but also to say thanks for having me over.”