“If green carpet grew on trees instead of leaves, I’d pick off a few cats—with my rifle.”

“If trees had love, instead of leaves, I’d gladly rake you into a pile on my lawn and fall into you.”

“From the green belt balcony, the wildfires look so prettyPonderosa canopy, I’d never leave if it were up to meTo the ruby redwood tree, and to the velvet climbing ivy painted all mahogany I’d never leave if it were up to me”

“If beards flowed like rivers, then I’d stop shaving my facial St. John’s, and I’d have one of the few major beards in the world that grew north.”

“The Americans take a product that literally grows on trees and turn it into a valuable commodity. Withoutthem, cocaine and marijuana would be like oranges, and instead of making billions smuggling it, I’d be making pennies doing stoop labor in some California field, picking it.”

“This is a green world, with animals comparatively few and small, and dependent on the leaves. By leaves we live.”