“If I can delay your action with my inaction, then I’ll gladly do nothing for the good of the no good.”

“I can be a better friend, lover, and humanitarian, but I can’t be a better eggroll. Sadly, I’m as good of an eggroll as I’ll ever be.”

“I’ll insist my competitor is the greatest, so that when I beat him, I won’t be calling myself the greatest—I’ll be proving it through my actions.
”

“Charity can be a good thing. But the only cause I’ll support is because. Don’t ask me why.”

“I’ll trade you one dollar for five dollars. What, is my money no good here?”

“When your action is gone, and all that’s left is motionlessness, I’ll be there, whistling.”

“I want to do something for a living that when it comes time to retire and I can stop doing it, I’ll want to continue doing it in my free time.”