“If I can just find my wife’s foot under the covers, I know everything will be OK. Then I can put that foot where I hid the rest of her body.”

“I hid a flower in a garden. I also hid a body there.”

“My dreams have wings. But not soaring eagle wings, more like the wings of a butterfly—colorful and easily ripped off. The last time my dreams got ripped off was when I shopped at Walmart, the place where freedom soars like a caterpillar under the foot of oppression.”

“If I were a mannequin, I'd know people would only want me for my body. But that's OK, because that's how it is now.”

“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out and evaporate. Scotch on the rocks, anyone?
”

“Love is like Atlantis, OK? And I’m just a humble scuba diver searching for treasure that I can exchange for sexual favors.”

“If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, and they’re still attached to the body that’s been decomposing there since I hid it three days ago.”