“If I could go back in time, I'd love to whisper sweet nothings in Van Gogh's ear, but not while it was attached to his head.”

“It’s very hard to whisper in your own ear. Love is an art, but as an artist, I guess I’m no Van Gogh.”

“Women love to talk. I'll bet Van Gogh had a woman. And I'll bet she talked his ear off.”

“If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ear, I guess.”

“My love is as blue as the sky, and if I had to attach a time to it I’d say midnight.”

“Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup.”

“The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type.”