“If I could lick the sunset, I’ll bet it would taste like Neapolitan ice cream.”

“A brick could be used like ice cream. But hold up, hold up. Let me put a bowl under it before you start licking, or else you’ll drip brick all over my blanket.
”

“I like ice cream with my cake. But in moderation, and not like five gallons with a cupcake. For that much ice cream, I’d need at least two cupcakes.”

“Did I hear that right? Did someone say ice cream? It’s an odd thing to say in the middle of a eulogy, but hell yes, I could go for some ice cream. We could take a break, because it’s not like this guy won’t still be dead in a half an hour.”

“I admire the Stanley Cup. I’ll bet winning it could provide enough clean water for half of Africa (the middle half).”

“Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did.”

“My love is a flower shaped like a snowflake. It won’t melt, so perhaps ice cream should be made out of it.”