“If I give you an historical reference, am I dating myself? No, because the only way I could date myself is if I had a clone—and he was gay.”
“If I had a clone, I could list myself as a character reference.”
“I asked myself a question, but I wouldn’t answer, because it was too personal. I wish I had a clone, so he could answer for me.”
“It's too bad you're not gay. Then again, if you were gay, I would never date you. You're a mess."You know, Patrick? If I were gay, I'd want to date you."Of course.”
“I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!”
“There is one woman I’ve dated I just can’t seem to forget, no matter how much I drink or how many concussions I give myself.”